I realize that this card I made recently may be a bit enigmatic to some. But it alludes to something (in a humorous way) that is worth saying something about. You see I am the "skier" in the lower right hand corner. I am not that way all the time. Usually, I can get down the mountain--slower and less graceful than most, but I enjoy it. Twice, however, I have been hit by an irrational fear. Once, when I first started skiing, maybe 14 years ago, and once, a couple of weeks ago. If you ever feel full of yourself, I recommend a dose of sheer terror. Not the kind in the movie theater where you are in a comfortable seat in the dark and when it's over you can leave. The kind where you can't talk yourself out of it, and there is no one who can help you (though there are others watching and waiting for you who don't understand to give it that good old embarrassment factor). Some might say it is good to "face your fears." In this case, it was just get through the fear. Yes, I had to face it, but it didn't go away. It was there at every turn. When I was done, I didn't feel triumphant--just exhausted and embarrassed. Now some have said that this blog is sad--or at least certain entries have been. Well, it is a bit my personal journal and there is bound to be some of that. However, I think it is all fertilizer. Yes, it stinks, but it is also what gives us the richest gardens. If we feel powerful and happy all the time, it is hard to empathize and question ourselves. Would I undo that moment on the mountain--actually, yes, absolutely. But I can't, and I think that's a good thing.
